How to Cook Children: A Grisly Recipe Book for Gruesome Witches

2892 stars
Martin Howard

How to Cook Children: A Grisly Recipe Book for Gruesome Witches by Martin Howard PDF, TXT, ePub, PDB, RTF, FB2.

Title How to Cook Children: A Grisly Recipe Book for Gruesome Witches
Rating 2892 stars
Author Martin Howard
Pages 80
Isbn 1843651793
Review This was much longer than it needed to be. It was kind of a one joke idea turned into 80 pages. I think a standard 32 page picture book would have been sufficient. I also think the text itself was way too long. I ended up skimming it. There were cute plays on words, but it just went on too long. The recipes, too, weren't written recipe style, which I think would have been funnier, easier to read, and made more sense. Instead there was more and more text.

The illustrations, however, were amazing. They were very beautiful,funny, and I enjoyed leafing through them. However, there was one stereotyped image that was offensive. While many cultural stereotypes were portrayed, a german with long blond braids, a Cajun Voodoo witch, the drawing of the Japanese witch, with squinting slanted eyes, was the only one that used genetic physical traits in a comic manner ala Little Black Sambo. The book would have been three stars but I docked it one for that particular image.

Description


mike mullin recommended this book to me, i think because he's on to me and my gingerbread trap house etc. it is how i maintain my youthful glow.

i ordered it into the store, and then i felt obligated to buy it, even though it was a silly book for kids with pictures of witches and what have you.

so i bought it, cursing my stupid self the whole time, and then i actually sat down with it, and guess what? it's pretty great! i have to admire the author's commitment to detail. there is a way to write this book that is lazy and half-assed: just draw some witches and make some cutesy rhymes about eating kids maybe a poop joke and blah blah - done.

but this is a much more thoughtful book. each witch hails from a different region, and has their own method of kid-cuisine, and borderline offensive dialect and tone.

i particularly like the beginning instructions for making bratwurst and upset cabbage:



(weiner the whiner pictured below.)

the first thing to do is make your upset cabbage. it is not difficult, they are shy creatures and easy to frighten. i sneak up from behind and then throw myself on it screaming achtung green swine. after weiner the whiner does his business on it i poke it with a stick. this makes a very upset cabbage. now hold weiner the whiner over a large saucepan until he does his toilet again and throw in the chopped cabbage. put the lid on and boil for six hours until the cabbage is furious.

i am not going to try this, obviously; i have a cat, not a dog, but i like knowing that cabbage has got a quick temper. does this make the irish cannibals? see? borderline offensive! i am learning!

it is a much more fun and detailed book than the cover and similar books on the market would lead you to expect, and it includes three pages of advertising for the restaurants of the featured witches, which is pretty cute. it is a very well-thought out book,with appeal for both kids and adults, and i am sorry i underestimated it.

also: looking at the illustrator's website, i found another book of his i want even more: The Poison Diaries

i will order it tomorrow. and buy it without regrets!

thanks, mike mullin!


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